Category Archives: Personal

Stuff about me.

Career Moms, Career or Moms?

I’m no stranger to being judged unfairly based on something superficial, I’m too white to be malay, too malay to be taken seriously, too green, too young to be important, too old to be fresh, too pretty to be smart and as if that wasn’t bad enough, i’m also a mother of 2.

What does that (being a mother) mean? Means it’s harder to get placed out station, harder to be sent on work trips, harder to go frankly anywhere under short notice. But like most working mom’s will tell you, that isn’t really a deal breaker. You actually can, consider us for these roles, as mothers we are versatile, and flexible. How else do we adapt to growing a tiny creature, full day meetings and all night feeds?

It’s no secret that mothers in the office are treated like fragile creatures. Like somehow having a baby made us sensitive, soft and less hungry to succeed. Sure we like to go home early if we can… but I don’t see how this is different from a single person wanting to leave early to go meet up at a bar or catch a movie with friends.

Where am I going with this?

A while back, I had the (unfortunate) opportunity to meet up with the head of an exciting new Start-Up. We were talking, and it seemed to be going well, until he found out I had kids. Then with a frown on his face, he explained the company culture was such, that they were in the office most days from 9am – 9pm. Now, I’m no stranger to working late, I used to work in Advertising, and I’ve done my fair share of overtimes. Not too long ago, I was 8 and 2/3 months pregnant and at my clients office at 1am to oversee the launch of the iPhone 6s. But the way he phrased it, made me a little annoyed.

So, I explained, that I do not mind staying back when there are things to be done, but (this is 2016 afterall) most of our work revolves around the internet (which I have at home), so if for some reason I needed to leave before 9PM, I could carry on work from home.

Then, he said something, that I could not believe….

“You are interesting, but not for now, maybe in 4-5 years, when you feel like ‘hey, maybe 2 kids is enough’ we can talk again.”

Then as if to make me feel better.
“Don’t worry, different people have different goals

Honestly, if I followed my motherly instincts or my natural PMS-ridden aggression, I would have smacked his smug face. But I am, after all, a professional, so I said Thank You for their time, and left.

Sure, I was angry, but I was also disappointed. When I’m upset, I Google.

I found that A survey of 2,000 mothers has revealed 51% feel their employers’ and colleagues’ attitudes changed when they became pregnant, with one in four believing they have been subject to discrimination before or after the birth of their child, and one third stating things had been “difficult” since returning to work and they had been overlooked for promotions because of their new responsibilities.

Unfortunately, I do find this somewhat true. Although my current employers were extremely supportive, back in 2011, when I found out I was having my first child, I was simply told, that if I could not be with the team, during our long working days and nights, that I should resign, because it was ‘UNFAIR’ to the team. And I actually resigned. I was young, naive, frankly rather stupid for letting them make me feel bad for wanting to bring another human being into this world.

So I share this story with you, colleagues, mothers, and all future mothers, to know your rights. Stand up for yourself, being a mother doesn’t make your career any less valuable. Because now you aren’t just working for yourself. You are working for something greater.

2016 Resolutions

Yes. It’s cliche but i think it’s good to take some time to think about what is important and plan on what we wish to achieve in the coming year. 

Here is my shortlist..

– Learn to eat better. This may mean eating your vegetables (Yuck) but your children are watching you and they notice that you go around all things green.

– Be a better wife. Having two kids who constantly need attention, sometimes i forget about my original big baby. 😏 

– Put down the iPhone/iPad. Because if you can’t put down candycrush soda, how will you get Mahdi to stop watching youtube.

– Be nicer to mama. She means well. I think.

– Drink your MILK! So you can keep making milk for Ms Aurora.

– Do more vectors. Follow @pxlprty to see if i keep this resolution.

– Create an award winning campaign! 

– Travel more. Alone. Together. Or with kids. 

– Exercise. Or at least try to.

– Save money!! 2015 was a terrible year financially.. Here’s hoping that 2016 is a lot better.

That’s all i can think of for now. I’m sure i can add on to the list as the year goes on.
Wishing everyone a Happy 2016. 

Midnight Rant

When someone proclaims ‘I’m an advocate for Breastfeeding’.
It makes me wonder what does that even mean?

Unless you have documentation or are a certified lactation consultant you have no business offering your take on what makes a good mother.

Everyone already knows breastfeeding is good for their babies. And obviously everyone wants their kids to be healthy and give them the best. Unfortunately sometimes people just cant follow thru with the hardships of breastfeeding, and i don’t blame them. It is the HARDEST thing to do, i swear labour contraction is nothing compared to having engorged breast, bleeding nipples and mastitis (ouch).
Personally, I endure breastfeeding, because i feel my kids will benefit from it. But i really feel its not my or anyone else’s place to judge what other mothers want to do with their kids. I’m sure they have debated and have their own reasons to not breastfeed. So all those so called ‘advocates’ should keep their opinions to themselves.
Same goes for those ‘advocates’ for co-sleeping, baby-wearing, holistic, early-weening, organic-know-it-alls.
I’m an advocate for just keeping my mouth shut.
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34 Weeks.

Only 6 weeks to go and i’m happy to announce that most of the things on my list has been cleared!

  • We’ve managed to move some stuff around, and found some space for the new addition.
  • We’ve settled on a hospital, KJMC. Been there twice so far for check ups, and i’m feeling pretty good about it.
  • We are officially free of boxes. We sent off the last of the storage boxes down to in laws in ipoh.
  • We’ve set up an account on Carousell, to sell off additional items that we can’t find space for. Take a look.
  • Bought a diaper bag.

Now we just need to….

  • Assembled the crib.
  • Source a car seat to buy.
  • Buy a pump.
  • Pack hospital bag
  • Handover work!

We are all systems go! Now if only the haze would go away so we can spend some wonderful time outdoors.

#ErtiSosial

Every year the scene during raya becomes more and more about updating statuses, rather than actual conversations.

I miss the old days when raya was this crazy noisy event, where all my grandparents siblings would come over to Taman Melawati and just talk for hours.

Now, it’s more like eat, take pics and let’s check in to the next location.

This year, i intend to let Mahdi experience Raya like how me and Alia did. With no iPhones or iPads to distract him. I think it’s going to be a great year. 🙂

Trimester 1.

Last night was horrible.
Was throwing up chunks thx to morning sickness while having migraine. Literally felt i would die facedown in the bathroom. Then i took a shower and started remembering all the things i hated about being pregnant.

Thats right i HATE it.

Then not sure why. Maybe it was hormones but i started to cry. Bawling tears of guilt for feeling so horrid over something that not everyone gets to have.

Then a little voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. My 3yearold son pushed the door open and said meekly ‘Are you ok Mama?’.

I quickly got my towel, got out of the shower and gave him a long hug and told him i was ok.

If being miserable and pregnant the first time around got me to him. Suddenly being sick and miserable now felt like an achievement. I can’t wait to meet the next little troublemaker.